backpacks, lots of lists, conference calls and... Asheville??

I often used to wonder what families went through those last couple weeks before traveling 1/2 way around the world to pick up their children. Now... I don't wonder. Or maybe I should wonder what less scattered, more diligent people do and try to emulate their examples. Or maybe I should just make up some pretend family in my head that would be the epitome of planning, packing, traveling euphoria and try to emulate that. Great. Now I am going to try to follow the example of some make-believe people I have just conjured up in my head. AND to add insult to injury, the most creative make-believe people I can create in my head right now are savvy packers. See what I'm up against here, people??!

Just to give you a taste of how I have been spending my last week and a half.... As if I haven't had over 5 months now to prepare bedrooms and make the look "finished", I wait to be inspired -- now. So, in between cramming school down the boys' throats; heading over to the gym twice a week in the morning-- so they can play with friends who also go at that time and I can run not in the sweltering humidity; trying to make sense of my weed ridden, deer haven garden; and just general life in Team Dragovich mommy duties-- I am dragging my boys to Hobby Lobby for all sorts of material, modge podge, cork boards, picture frames and whatever else I decide I MIGHT need to complete their rooms. Then I overtake the homeschool room table-- which we are still trying to do school at, mind you-- and puke out craft craziness ALL over it. And then take many days to complete the projects. Still-- while we do school.

Example #2... I have known that I wanted to take each kiddo a backpack stuffed with activities, a snuggly for comfort, snacks, etc. that could be their little bag for the trip home.. and then continue to be their backpack-- all my kids have their own backpacks, even though we homeschool-- figure it out. So, anyway... I HAVE truly been looking for backpacks that I think would do the trick-- right size and functional, not just cute. Not so easy to do for a 3 year old and 5 year old. Well, Land's End's school catalog came to my door earlier this week-- Tuesday, I think it was. YES-- jackpot! They had backpacks for littles as young as 3 and then moved up from there. Perfect... but will they come in time. Tony says, "Sure! Go for it." I do. This turned out well. They came today. What may still end up in total meyham, is all the stuff I all the sudden decided needs to go IN the backpack!! I was recently introduced to Anamalz wooden toys and Signing Time flashcards. Too cute!! Perfect hand size, easy to store, tote around, pull out and play and sturdy. Except I found them-- yesterday and didn't order them until today. Look, I live in nowhere, USA... it's not like I can just go out and find these items anywhere-- correction-- I COULD have driven my boys out to Toys R Us and made us all crazy and walked out with Anamalz, Signing time flashcards (which I'm not even sure they carried in stock) and either three resentful, angry little boys; OR $50 more worth of who knows what in order to sooth the jealous rages. I mean, c'mon... I have very good boys, but they are people, too and watching new brother and sister get sooo much attn. paid to even just their arrival??? Well, more on that later.
Now, Anamalz and signing flashcards are just the beginning of what is going to ET in a week for two new kids-- well, if they even COME on time! Tuesday was my "shop for gifts" day-- nannies, driver, guide-- and honestly, it went pretty well. But, it was also "get the kids a snuggly day". And I knew just the perfect store to find what I wanted from Gund stuffed animals. When I walked in the door, I saw 40% off ALL Gund animals-- SCORE!! Until she didn't have ANY of the flat animals that I wanted. But... she was so excited when I told her that I didn't buy the ones I found in Asheville over the weekend so I could buy them from her, that she is currently having two new Gunds shipped to her and PROMISES to have them by next Tuesday AND she is giving me the 40% off-- yea!! So, that was good, too. Then, I went over to this really nifty outdoor gear shop looking for something to give our guide and driver as a "Thank You" for holding our hands for a week. I went in with a couple ideas, but I must have walked end to end in that store for 25+ minutes before deciding on "the perfect gift" (don't worry, I won't leave you hanging too long. But let me tell you what-- as SOON as I walked in the store, there was an ADORABLE pair of Mary Janes in leather and all casual, but sporty looking and oh-so comfortable that just spoke my name-- on sale 1/2 price. ONE left in my size. Now-- mind you-- I HAVE been wanting to get a pair of shoes that are cute, closed toe and something I could wear in Ethiopia and still be comfortable for long walking. But, I hadn't really found "just the right shoe", so I sorta gave up on it, opting for settling with my old strappy mary janes that will definitely work, but were-- well-- old. And I'm not even a real big "shoe" person (don't you like all my justifying??) The other part of this, is... even at 1/2 off-- they were still $80.00. The bottom line to this story is... at this point, all bets are off when it comes to being frugal in preparing to bring two kids home from ET. Obviously, me adopting kids is becoming very good for the economy. My checking account??? Not so great.

I have lots more examples of frivolous spending, wasting time and spinning my wheels. But, I think you get the drift. One thing that we have been working through that I have been anticipating-- is some spiking in clingy, whiny, selfish behavior amongst the boys. Both with one another and with us. More so me-- but I am an easy target. Always here :) I would say sometimes we handle it well, and other times... well, not so much. They never speak against their new brother and sister. In fact, they have nothing but wonderful things that they share about playing soccer with JB or playing dolls with RiSa (Tony's nickname for Rebekah Selami). DO NOT let them know you have been let in on their secret desire to play with RiSa and her "girlie toys" ;)! It's supposed to be a secret. But, they do get their feelings hurt easily, demand justice and rightousness and FAIRNESS in one another AND us and very hard on the person when they don't get it. They are SOOOO over UPS, FedEx and the mailman knocking at our door with another package to deliver. You know, for so many years the only packages that came in the mail were for them-- b-days, Christmas, other holidays, etc. But, I do a lot more internet shopping than I EVER have in the past, and especially now that I seem to think that money flows like water-- I'm being a little sarcastic here-- there have just been a lot of "ding-dongs" at the doorbell, and lots of anxious faces that turn to frustration when they find out it's not for them. So, you can imagine all the conversations we've been having about all the preparations I did for each one of them, all the presents they received, and all the time and effort that was spent when each one of them entered into the world. They just weren't around or old enough to see or understand it. So... this has been VERY good for them to walk through. And I know that they will do wonderfully over time with the kids and this whole bigger family thing-- despite the bumps in the road that are meant to knock us back into perspective :)


Finally, in the midst of all this, Tony managed to wisk me away to Asheville, NC for a night at the Grand Bohemian Hotel which sits in the heart of Biltmore Village and at the entrance of the Biltmore Estate. This was to celebrate our 12 year anniversary. We drove up on Saturday, did some shopping (imagine that), ate a wonderful little restaurant and spent Father's Day at the Biltmore. Crazy. That place is.... crazy. No words describe it well enough and it is a whole other post. But, we had a WONDERFUL time-- and I'm going to leave it at that :P

Now, I know all you want to see are pictures of the bedrooms. Coming!! They are almost done. Actually the boys' room is done and Selami's is the only one I am still finishing up-- hanging curtains and other pretty wall decor-- oh yeah and putting up the crib. I will probably be working on it until Thursday night instead of packing or some other responsible activity that I'm sure my make-believe traveling family would be doing.

Ummm... I think I better go to bed now.

Grace and Peace,
Shari

Team Dragovich is 2 STRONGER!!!!!!!!

Joshua Biruk & Rebekah Selami Dragovich

IT HAPPENED-- FOR REAL!!!! WE PASSED COURT TODAY :D!!!!!!!!!

Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name. Psalms 18:49

I'll try not to talk too much because I know all you care about are pictures :D. I'll have to work on a slide show this evening-- I just couldn't bring myself to do one until they were legally ours. Anyway... I'm rambling. Anna Graham, our Programs Director called me at 9:35ish this morning with the news. The boys and I were on our way to the gym-- actually, we were about 3 blocks from our destination when the phone rang. I saw it was AWAA and I really had to hesitate and take a deep breath. As soon as I heard Anna's voice, I knew. That didn't stop the scream of pure joy and elation though. The boys were ready for it. In fact, they told me before the call even came, "Mom, we're going to hold our ears, just in case. We remember the referral call!"

What did I do after talking to Anna? Went for a run :) Then, we went to Dick's Sporting Goods and bought Joshua BIRUK Dragovich a soccer ball. And now, I am getting ready to order Rebekah SELAMI Dragovich a bitty baby doll from American Girl.... I have been planning this splurge for many moons now.

Here they are....

Joshua (Jehovah Saves) Biruk (Blessed) Dragovich at Referral 2/10/09

Rebekah (To Bind in) Selami (peace) Dragovich at referral 2/10/09

JB & RS in March

JB & RS in April

JB & RS in May

Thank you, THANK YOU for keeping our family faithfully in your prayers. Now, we get ready to travel over the 4th of July-- I can't think of a better way to spend Independance Day!!!!!

Grace and Peace,
Shari

In the Meantime...

Before I go any further, here are two blogs of families that are in Ethiopia right now:

The Foote Family
The Cole Family

I think there are others, but these are two that I found are updating their blogs well.

Okay...

I bet you have been wondering what Team Dragovich is up to in the meantime... you know, the MEAN time between our two court dates :)! That is what I think it is anyway. Well, we've stayed pretty busy. My dear friends threw me a beautiful adoption shower, and we were certainly showered with wonderful gifts and lots of PINK!!!!! I do not ever get tired of looking at pink girlie clothes, that's for sure!

We've also took a day trip to the beach-- we live two hours from some very nice, family friendly, quiet beaches along the southern border of NC-- right above South Myrtle Beach. That was tons of fun and other than coming back looking like lobsters, it was a huge success.

Tony dove back into work. He came home to some pretty big things happening for Womack's pain department, and pain medicine in the Army overall. I am so proud of the work he does for soldiers and their famlies. He would be embarrassed that I am bragging about him, but oh well. And I am sorry if it is offensive that I am bragging about my husband's skills. Sometimes I just can't help myself-- God has so gifted him in this area. I think God's gifts are so creative and funny sometimes. Or maybe it is just funny to be married to someone who is so gifted and talented in treating pain in people. Not that I don't think that it is important-- I think it is VERY important!! It is just not what I ever expected-- do I know what I did expect?? No. But, I never even knew there was such a thing as a "pain medicine specialist"... let alone that I would marry one. Of course, he wasn't a pain medicine specialist when I married him. :) Anyway, that was sorta a rabbit-trail. Tony is busy and has a lot of different things going on in the world of pain, and I'm proud of him.

But, really, he went back to work a little early so that he would be more free to take off when we travel to pick up the kids. This week has been hard. I won't lie. Every day I have to fight this battle of being done waiting. Every morning my natural instinct is start worrying about whether we will pass this time. On Saturday we got new pictures of them-- our May update. It was hard. We both cried. I'm so happy that they look so happy and well-adjusted and growing. When we first had pictures of them our little girl wouldn't smile a lick and our boy smiled so politely. Now, our pictures are filled with them playing, laughing and just having a good 'ole time together. I love it and hate it all at once.

So, I guess that is the sum total. Not really. I am in the middle of painting our little girl's room. I think it will be really pretty when it is done... and yes, I will post pictures. It just has taken so long to get both the rooms ready, and I admit, I never think a room is really quite ever "done"-- at least not to my level of done. But, who can meet that standard??? So, once it is painted, bedding on, curtains hung and at least a COUPLE decorations hung on the wall... I will post pictures.

Thanks for stopping by :) Go read the other families' blogs. You will be blessed.

Grace and Peace,
Shari

To pass court in Ethiopia takes perseverance :)

It is funny how a day can start with such anticipation and a hope of life-changing news... and by the end of the day, it was as if that day was a year ago and nothing new is under the sun. Well, this is honestly how I can describe today. I woke several times last night-- obviously anxious for the upcoming news-- court. Did we pass? Did we not? I would wake up and think, could they be seeing our case now?........ What about now? ......... Maybe now???

Well, it was none of those times. Our case never even made it before the judge. Most of the cases from our agency for the day didn't make it before the judge. MOWA (Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs) decided that one of the pieces of paperwork needed to process our court appearance was outdated and needed updating. I won't bore you with the details. The bottom line is, Tony and I need to have a piece of legal paperwork re-signed, notarized and certified. Then we will overnight this paperwork to AWAA and they will forward it on to Ethiopia. This all must happen before June 16th-- our next chance at court.

Our reaction? We feel pressed-in on and maybe a little under fire. I know that my response to this matters. It matters just as much as the circumstance itself. We certainly are not the only family by far to have detours in the journey of adoption. Nor are we even in the minority. I have watched families for 18 months now walk this road. I have a cloud of witnesses who have gone before us, who are with us now and who follow behind us. And who am I to be dissatisfied with God's mighty ways? Or hang my head in dispair instead of making my petitions to Him with all praise and thanksgiving?

Shortly after I hung up with our agency upon hearing the news of no court, I heard these words clear as day:

²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1: 2-4)

Not just once, but over and over. It was a whisper, but clear and true. Is this easy for me to do? No. It is a moment by moment choice. And even then, only by the Grace of God which lives in me and makes me new.

So... we did not pass court. We didn't even make it to court. That's okay. Tony and I went out for dinner by ourselves and drown our sorrows in nachos and beer-- just kidding!! Well, sort of :) We had a nice evening out and tooks some time to process the news, adjust our thinking, make plans and move forward. We're also thankful for all the friends and family who are praying for us and walking the road of adoption with us.

And now... look to June 16th. It's our next chance to become Joshua B. and Rebekah S.'s mom and dad. We're excited to bring these two home to Team D!!!

Grace and Peace,
Shari

Did I just dream that???

Okay, so now that I have him home, I go in and out of thinking that he never left. It is strange. I think back on the last 7 months and it is all a blur. And yet, in some ways, I don't really feel like he is home, either. The pick up at the airport was priceless. I surprised the boys by telling them we were going to pick up their Aunt Emily, who was coming for a quick visit after her finals. Yes, it was an outright lie. I'm okay with that. So, when their dad came around the corner of the gate (there is only one in Fayetteville's airport), they did not see him at all. I had to call their attention to him and when I finally got them to look, it seemed like they were looking right through him-- as though it was one of those images on Star Wars-- you know, holograms-- or whatever they are called. Finally, they accepted that it WAS in fact their father, and all bets were off. Sam jumped up into his arms and suctioned himself to Daddy. Isaac started bawling and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist, and Wyatt just kept hugging him and pulling back and asking questions-- imagine that :). I'm glad I could pull off the surprise. Sometimes I think that I'm an "all work and no play" sorta mom. Militant about chores, good routines, schoolwork, etc. My husband calls me "The Warden". That's not a fun name. I forget to turn tense moments into funny moments a lot of times and sometimes I forget to smile and just not be on a mission-- whatever the mission of the moment is. So, I'm happy that I could surprise them in this very important moment of their lives-- reuniting with their daddy.

A friend of ours asked us the other day if now that we've had this time apart and had to go through an extended period of separation, if we learned anything major or realized any new, marriage-altering truths or made any new committments to one another. That is a loaded question and not one easy to answer. Both of us just sorta stood there awkwardly silent... ummm... well... Even after a couple days to process the question, we still don't really have an answer. I don't know why, either. I guess you would think we should-- but why? Our whole marriage has been one new experience, adjustment, challenge-- call it whatever you want-- after another. Aren't most people's? And with each challenge, we seem to come out on the other side understanding one another, our marriage and our family in some deeper way. Not that WE are able to do that-- but God just seems to cause the hard things to work out for His good and His glory. And it isn't something that we realize while we're in the season, or even right after the season. It is a slow recognition over time and distance away from the event that God used to refine us.

I guess if there is one thing that keeps coming to my mind, it is to not waste time. So much of my time can get eaten away in that which does not matter in the least. Or, my own selfishness or fears can keep me from fully living the life God has intended-- and this wastes time as well. And what is sacrificed in the time-wasting is everything that matters and is eternal-- relationships, talents, love, wholeness, God's kingdom coming through our sacrifices, etc. It is the hardest thing ever-- knowing how to invest the gifts God has bestowed... time, talents, resources, relationships. And there is only this one life, only this one chance and only the people He has placed most intimately in my life-- starting with my husband-- NOT for MY benefit, but so that they will experience God's eternal, life-giving love through the love with which I love them. This is a weighty proposition.

The other part of this awareness to not waste time, is the fear that we will trade in God's glorious riches for treasures here on earth-- not even meaning to, or consciously-- but just wasting opportunities to be "salt" and "light". And, I'm not talking about signing up for and organizing all the latest, greatest "ministry" opportunities or being a part of the newest "vision" either. I'm talking about the every day choices I/we make-- to either choose God's heart on a particular matter... or not.

Each day removed from deployment season has it's own set of ups and downs. Sounds like life to me :) Fortunately the honeymoon didn't last long-- Tony and I have already had a couple little quibbles. Which is fine-- because then we have to make-out... I mean "up". :) He has had to ease into time with the boys. Seven months with only grown ups can put a shock to your system when you come home to three raucuous boys! And as far as my dream state... well, I'm glad deployment wasn't a dream. I have a feeling that the further out we get, the more I will be able to see God's sweet work once again.

Grace and Peace!

PS... Stay tuned on the 20th for news of our court!!!!!! Please pray for our family to find favor with the judge and for Joshua B. and Rebekah S. to legally become members of Team D.!!!!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

I think this is the beginning of many thank you from my family. First, thank you for reading this blog-- however shoddy and sporatic I am about posting; I know there are many faithful readers, still. Thank you for reading about babies who need formula, thank you for being a part of our efforts to raise money and meet the goal of $12,500 worth of formula to feed our malnourished babies at AWAA's Transition Home!!!!!

Thank you for praying our family through the past 6+ months of deployment. By grace alone, we have come to the other side of this journey-- he isn't home yet, but he is in the country and working hard to make it back to us!!

Thank you for praying over our adoption process. As with any adoption, there are twists, turns and unexpected hiccups along the way. Of course, we aren't "there" yet; but getting closer every day. I still covet your prayers for our upcoming court date on May 20th, and prayers that we will be able to still travel on June 6th. I stand in awe when I look back upon God's goodness and mercy to our family. From the very beginning, He has caused all things to work for His Glory-- whether it has been providing a much needed document at the right time, causing Tony to come home early for travel, answering prayers on behalf of ALL families in AWAA to pass court, bring home children sooner and cause government systems to work for the benefit of children and families.... He is so good.

The next two weeks are huge for our family. Reunion with our Daddy, wrapping up another year of teaching my boys, experiencing the court system of Ethiopia and by God's grace, legally adding two more children to Team Dragovich. The anticipation is rising... and where there is great good to come, there is also great opposition from the enemy. Please continue to pray for us-- I do not know what to expect. I cannot even fathom. But one thing I DO know...

"I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Be STRONG and TAKE HEART and WAIT FOR THE LORD"!!! (Psalm 27:13-14)

Grace and Peace,
Shari

An Opportunity for Living Faith

Tom Davis is on a mission. He is raising money to buy a specialized formula for our malnourished babies living in AWAA's Transition Home.

Who is Tom Davis?

Tom Davis is a photographer, author and advocate for orphans worldwide-- in particular, Africa. He has written some great books, including Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds-- a statistic filled, reality check, call to action for Americans; especially Christians; who are supposed to "be the hands and feet of Jesus" or "live the red letters" of the New Testament but sadly seem strangely absent from the front lines on the war against poverty. He has founded an organization called Children's Hope Chest-- with this mission:

Children’s HopeChest believes that every orphan has the right to know God, experience the blessing of family, and have the opportunity to develop independent living skills.

Tom has teamed up with OUR agency, America World Adoption Agency (AWAA) to provide formula to the malnourished infants which arrive in our Transition Home. It is as horrific reality. Infants who are 6-12 months old weighing less than 7-8 pounds. Several of our babies at the Transition Home this very day are on feeding tubes, because their little bodies are too weak to intake nutrients any other way.

PLEASE be a part of this campaign of Tom's to provide Nutramigen-- a specialized formula-- for the babies of our Transition Home. As I stated at the beginning of this post, he is on a mission to raise $12,500 by Mother's Day, so our babies can have a chance at life and to experience the love of a "forever family"!!

Visit Tom's Blog to learn more. Read his interview with AW's Duni Zeneye, and then please consider giving. Think of it as a Mother's Day gift. Give so that another child may have the chance to know the love of a mother. Give so that another mother may have the chance to know the joy of loving a child. Give so that they both may experience the love of the Father through the blessing of adoption.

Grace and Peace,
Shari

PS-- Just a note... the picture of the infant in the picture at the beginning of this post is NOT one of our AW babies. That would violate privacy laws for our TH children.