So hard to be JB

RiSa LOVES looking at books-- yeah, me!!!

That is a pretty serious face!

Photos, Photos and more photos!

The tree cutting party this morning on our front porch

Three of my five cutie pies!!

Poor JB. He had a REALLY hard day today. Everything started fine, but by late this afternoon, he was terrified of the dog again, and full of tears over having to share the tricycle with his sister. His whole world has been just tipped over and spilled out all over half the world-- in front of everyone and he has no way of knowing how to make sense of it all. The worst part is, there isn't a whole lot I can do to "fix" it. In fact, I am the one (or one of the ones) who has helped make it sooo messy for him!

He doesn't seem to pick up on things as quickly as RiSa does. I swear she is understanding MOST of what I say to her- certainly she understands the obvious things and even the more subtle ideas-- like sharing and manners. JB-- not so much. And to make matters harder, he is having to deal with his older brothers try to talk to him and then quickly get frustrated that he doesn't respond to what they are telling him and then focus more of their attention on cute baby sister-- which is still beyond my comprehension. Today, he resorted to teasing them and sorta "picking" on them in order to keep their attention. The same kind of things he would do with RiSa at the guest house-- take her toy away that she would be playing with, copycat what she was saying, taunt her with something he knew she wasn't supposed to have or touch, etc. It's not that the boys don't try-- they do, but not for long, and certainly as soon as he doesn't share the toy of the moment they are whining at him and all fussy with him until they just decide to leave and go do something else. Now, every day hasn't been like this, but yesterday and today have been more and more.

Here is another issue. I know that in Ethiopia it is very culturally acceptable to feed one another and share off of one another's plates. I think that is very neat and I certainly don't have an issue with it-- except when I am trying to get my new kids to try and eat what is on THEIR plate and not go scavenging for everyone elses mashed potatoes after theirs is all gone. If I would let them, they would eat meat and starch forever and ever until they gorge themselves to death. Not cool. Especially RiSa. So... when she is done eating what she wants (the bread, pasta, potatoes) and asks for more I don't give it to her. I tell her to eat what is on her plate, then more. She gets it. Believe me. She pouts, and sniffs about and then looks at brother Biruk, who is all too willing to share what he has-- esp. if he doesn't really want it-- case in point with mashed potatoes tonight. Well, I wouldn't have it and this confused him. And tonight isn't the first time I've done it to him. It happens at one meal a day, at least- and once, I even caught him sneaking food to her. Bless his heart. That made me mad. I KNOW he is just doing what he has probably always done-- with her or any other kid sitting next to him. On one hand it is hard to stay firm when I know it is so confusing to him and frustrating, too. On the other hand, I can't let RiSa gorge herself on starch and carbs!!! And he needs to learn to try to eat a variety of foods, too! It's a hard one, and all I know to do is stay consistent and hope he doesn't resent me for it the rest of his life. :)

And you know the whole "breakthrough" with the dog? Well, forget it. I don't know WHAT happened (it was on Tony's watch!), but I guess Penny got frisky with JB and he pushed her away, which she took as a game and then went for the nipping of the leg. Yeah. Bad move, Pen-Pal. Tony said he tried to soothe his fears by "making him play fetch with Penny". Right... didn't work.

See what bright parents we are???? Ughhhh.

I know that most of what is happening in JB's little brain and heart right now is grieving. He is grieving his homeland, his caregivers, his friends, his language, his food, his culture, his people. This is my prayer-- that we would recognize his grief, enter into it with him and be able to love him through it. Not with our own love, but with the love of the Father who is able to give all comfort in all situations at all times.

Grace and Peace,
Shari

PS... Hopefully I can remember tomorrow to post about our shopping adventure to the mall-- RiSa darted on me while in Stride Rite buying her and JB new tennis shoes... can you believe it?? I almost lost one of my new kids before I've even had her for a week! Ugh.

Home-- Day 2... Breakthrough

JB likes to bounce!

Nana made me an apron

Nana made RiSa a matching apron-- too cute!

JB playing in the neighbor's yard

One thing I think I may have not mentioned yet about the kids is that they are TERRIFIED of Penny, our German Shepherd. I can't say I blame them-- for a couple reasons. First, she does look sorta scary-- big, black, hairy and she barks a lot. Second, I don't remember seeing a dog on a leash while we were Ethiopia.... meaning, they weren't "man's best friend". No dog runs, doggy treat stores, people with their dogs in their purses, no one walking their dog... imagine that. The only dogs I saw were straggly, rough-looking mutts who were either scraping around for food or getting run off by the gate keeper of our guest house. I was anticipating this reaction to Penny, so it didn't surprise me at all. I have been wondering what will be the turning point to the fear of the dog, and today I saw maybe a turning point-- at least for JB. The boys have been all about showing off their new siblings to the neighborhood kids. So, they had JB over in the neighbor's yard this afternoon while RiSa slept, bound and determined to break the fear. The neighbors have 2 dogs-- one older, more docile large dog and another pure-bred German Shepherd who looks even more scary than Penny-- sorta. At one point, when I was looking out the window to see how they were doing, I saw them all crowded around JB and one of the dogs. I immediately knew what was going on. JB was clinging to Wyatt and trying to warm up to the animal, all at the same time. Very cute. I am so thankful for sweet neighbors and their children who are so accepting and excited for us and our new additions. Whatever the boys did with JB and the dogs seemed to work-- somewhat. This evening after dinner, JB was trying to show RiSa how to pet Penny; speaking who knows what to her in Amharic-- grinning, talking in soothing tones and SLOWLY walking up to Penny and doing his best to bravely pet her. I wish I had a video recording of it. He never really convinced RiSa... but I was sooooo proud of him for getting so close and petting Penny-- and he wasn't even clutching on to one of us while doing it!!

That is our "Breakthrough" for the day-- hence the title of this post. But, really I would say we had little breakthroughs all day long. In my quiet time this morning I read from Colossians and was reduced to tears over Paul's sweet words to that church... Colossians 1:9-14. Especially the part about being "qualified to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. ¹³For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴in whom we have redemption,^e]">[e] the forgiveness of sins." How overwhelming and humbling and life-giving!!! RiSa is calming more and more every day and I am remembering more and more what it is like to have a 2 1/2 year old again. And I am being introduced to... GIRLS!!!!! We had fun, FUN in the kitchen today. I had to grind grain and bake bread and she was all too ready to help out. It is amazing what she understands despite the language barrier. She liked wearing her apron that Nana made her when she saw me put on mine-- MATCHING!!! Too much cuteness!! We had MUCH less fighting for naps today. While we were laying together during nap time she was playing with her Bitty baby and I watched my little girl so sweetly care for her doll-- doing many of the same things and even SPEAKING many of the same things that I have spoken to her over the past several days. Amazing. She sang to her baby the "clean up" song, played "Jump" with the baby (Wyatt started playing this with her), patted her bottom, washed her whole body and sang to her some more. I think I must be the most blessed person on this earth to have been able to witness this beautiful girl mimic the love that she has experienced thus far in her life-- only through the love given by the Father.

Thank you to ALL of you who have posted, prayed for and thought of our family during such a unique time! I'm so sorry I cannot respond to all your comments-- I want to soooo much!! Just know that I am increadibly encouraged by all of you who have gone before me, and am inspired to keep making love a VERB-- knowing that it is IN CHRIST that our family does ALL THINGS!!!

Grace and Peace,
Shari